This week in theaters, Jason Statham stars in Wild Card. The movie is about a bodyguard who basically does what Statham does in every other movie he has ever been in; beat some ass. The only difference in this one; he plays blackjack. I decided to review a Statham movie that is on Netflix right now where he DOES NOT beat some ass…I’m just fuckin’ with you. ALL his movies involve him beating some ass. Crushing some ass. Or being an ass. I chose Homefront this week.
Homefront is about a DEA agent who hangs up his shield to find a peaceful life in a small town with his daughter. But soon after he and his daughter get settled in and think that they are going to have a normal life, his grade-school-aged daughter goes and beats up a bully at school. This action gets Statham mixed up with some bullies of his own.
The screenplay for Homefront was written by Sly Stallone; so there is absolutely no skimping on the ass kicking. There is a VERY weak romantic storyline that is forgotten with the first kick Statham kicks the shit out of and it never really materializes. I mean really, who the hell wants to see Statham do anything else besides pounding faces? I sure as shit wouldn’t care to see him in some sad-bastard RomCom where he pretends to be a caring individual and romances a lady who doesn’t deserve his fists of furry. Stallone basically plucks Statham out of any of his other movies, puts him in some Carhardt and a pick-up truck, and boom; Homefront.
Some of the other casting is absolutely marvelous in Homefront, as well. For example: the creepy meth dealer who is the main antagonist in the movie, is James Franco. Nothing gets creepier than Franco. In fact, I don’t think they even gave him a script. I think they just told him to show up on the days they were shooting his scenes and to make sure he looks sweaty. He plays the perfect derelict. The other name that plays her part almost TOO well is Winona Ryder; who plays Franco’s partner in crime and meth addict. Trashy is as trashy does.
If you like Statham movies, watch Homefront. If you have never seen a Statham movie, watch Homefront. If you don’t know who the hell Jason Statham is? He’s the love child of Bruce Willis and Daniel Craig who eats bad guys for breakfast and then has a cup of tea.
Cheerio, mother fucker.
