If you’re anything like me, and I think you are, you are really into crying. Whether it be from a seemingly impossible day, trouble in your world, or simply because you haven’t done it in a few days; crying is your thing. Serious Note:We all do it. It’s not a bad thing, unless you do it, while listening to Michael Bolton, eating a family size tub of ice cream, while wearing your ex’s Spiderman sweater, spitting all down the shirt. (Not at all ever happened to me, maybe). With Valentine’s Day fast on the approach, some of you may be making plans to do something with someone. BUT again, if you’re like me, you’ll be spending it alone, hoping that the above mentioned Michael Bolton situation doesn’t happen (again). Whether you’re into crying alone, or with someone watching you, the below list is guaranteed to help you get in the mood.
Sense and Sensibility (1995)
This screen adaptation of the Jane Austen novel, tells the story of the three Dashwood sisters who are forced to live in a meager cottage on relative’s property in the countryside, after their father’s death. It is a romantic comedy with a stellar English cast including: Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman, Huge Grant, and a smaller appearance of Huge Laurie. The movie was adapted by the fabulously talented Emma Thompson and won her Best Adapted Screenplay for 1995 and is directed by Ang Lee. It is one I have watched several times given how well it was done and much I can cry during it.
Cry Meter: Many Sensible Cries
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Ever wonder how Shakespeare decided to write Romeo+Juliet? Well, this is the fictitious tale of said events. According to this movie, Shakespeare, struggling with writer’s block, falls in love with Viola, a rich, beautiful daughter to a wealthy merchant. He is commissioned to present a play for the Queen and as his love affair with Viola unfolds, so does his play. I won’t tell you how the movie ends, but I will tell you she inspires him to write another very well known piece of his work, Twelfth Night. This movie stars the ever so sexy Joseph Finnes, as Shakespeare, and the lover of a good, steamed vagina, Gwyneth Paltrow, as Viola. This also has a number of very wellknown English stars. I find them the easiest to cry to.
Cry Meter: Old English, Shakespeare Cries
Sabrina is the classic Cinderella story, but with a Sexy family twist. A poor(ish) young Chauffeur’s daughter, pines for the affections of the youngest Millionaire Larrabee son, David. Her father has her sent away to Paris, so she can get an education, but in the time she’s there, she still pines for him. Upon her return home, David, who never took an interest in her
*scrubby chauffeur’s daughter looks before, now finds himself enamored with her. This creates trouble for mergers between David’s fiancee’s father’s company, and the Larrabee Industries. They send in the **big guns of older brother, Lionus. This sassy film will leave you with many lovestruck fantasies of being swept off your feet by a hunky man, and also leave you crying, when you realize it’s a movie and it made you compromise your morals as a feminist. It features the ever loved Audrey Hepburn, and Humphrey Bogart and William Holden if you’re over 50. The 1995 version featuring hunkbot, Harrison Ford, Julia Ormond, and Greg Kinnear is also on Netflix for you younger, sensuous folk.
*She always looked the same, except she wears a dress and cuts her hair.
**He is actually quite lanky and does not have any guns, arms or other.
Cry Meter: NonFeministy Tears
Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)
Although this movie isn’t the typical love story, this is still going on my cry list. You can cry for many reasons (see above list of reasons). This movie tells the story of unhappy housewife, Evelyn, who befriends an old lady she meets in a nursing home, where her husband’s mother is staying. As she spends time with her, Ninny reveals the story of her soul mate, Ruth and their lives together. It includes, love, loss and comedy. I think this is a fantastic movie, especially if you’re into stories told a la Forrest Gump (also cry central station film). It stars a marvelous cast including, Jessica Tandy, Kathy Bates, and MaryLouise Parker.
Cry Meter: Soul Mate Cries
This has no choice but to be on my list (sorry, not sorry). The modernday version of the classic love story between Romeo and Juliet. I really don’t feel that you’ll need a recap of the story, because you were more than likely, forced to read it in school at some point, or (hopefully) love Shakespeare enough yourselves, that you’ve read it. I love how visually stunning this movie is. I love the soundtrack, which includes Lovefool by The Cardigans. I love the casting choices made. I think for a remake of a classic movie, of a remake of a classic play, this does live up to expectations. It features a sexually cryinducing cast including, Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes, and John Leguizamo. It was directed by Baz Lurhmann, who has also done films that are equally as stunning, but are not yet featured on
Cry Meter: All of the Cries