People often refer to Lifetime movies as their ‘guilty pleasure.’ The only time someone should feel guilty over a Lifetime movie is because they were an actor in one. The rest of us should feel free to enjoy. Lifetime movies are beautiful, psychotic little messes, and we should nurture them with love. Who else is going to make me laugh AND incorrectly inform me about true stories!?! No one, that’s who. Thankfully, Netflix is kind enough to supply us with many Lifetime masterpieces. Join me, as I sort through them all, one week at a time,
* SPOILERS AHEAD, SO DON’T BE A BITCH.
First on the list is Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret. As soon as I saw the cover on my Netflix feed, it was imperative I find out what type of mental breakdown drove this woman to those bangs. Never before has a film cover captivated me so. Who was Jodi Arias? I needed to know.Well, I quickly learned that this Heidi Fleiss-looking broad is a cold-blooded killer swimming in the sea of Psychopath.
Jodi Arias (Are-Eye-Esss), an aspiring photographer, met Travis Alexander, a successful salesman and public speaker of Mormon faith, at a Prepaid Legal Services Conference in September of 2006. Shortly thereafter, they began dating and, despite going against his religion, engaging in an intimate relationship. Their sexual chemistry was explosive, addictive and afflicting their partnership.
As her feelings grew stronger, his diminished. She began snooping through his texts and e-mails, confirming her suspicions that Travis was flirting with other women. This resulted in the end of their relationship, but it wasn’t long before they were back to their rendezvous. When even those weren’t enough to entice him into a more substantial relationship, Jodi’s obsessive behavior and stalking worsened, prompting vicious arguments between the two.
On June 4th of 2008, Jodi Arias, armed with a gun, dropped by Travis’ home. They slept together a few more times and then he jumped in the shower. It was then that Jodi took the last photographs ever taken of him moments before barbarically stabbing Travis Alexander in the back nearly 30 times, slitting his throat and shooting him.
When this bitch gets angry and warns you with “I. Will. Cut. You.’ – she means it.
NOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, HERE ARE 10 REASONS YOU SHOULD WATCH IT:
1. You will learn what warning signs to look out for to avoid being murdered by/murdering your boo.
If she slashes your tires, she might be a killer. If you break into his house and watch him, you might be a killer. If she hacks your emails, you need better passwords.
2. You will learn what behaviors to avoid before pushing your lover/being pushed over the edge.
Jodi and Travis kept sleeping together even after he dumped her and made clear he wasn’t gonna wife her up. Lesson: When one person is madly in love and the other sees them as just a friend with benefits, both parties must walk away. Don’t be a doormat and don’t be an asshole.
3. The lead guys are pretty hot, even if they’re total bores.
For a guy with constellation freckles, Jason Lee Soffer is absolutely delicious. (He should steer clear of voiceover work, though.) Jason’s got that boy next door charm that tricks you. He’s the kind of guy that looks so innocent and dorky you can’t even fathom him wanting more than you, and next thing you know, you’re killing him for for keeping 5 chicks on the side. As an extra treat, his sidekick, Zane Holts, is also a hottie. Solid all-American boy treats for yo’ eyes.
4. Tania Raymonde’s butt.
5. There are crazy hot chicks galore.
Jodi is batshit, that’s obvious. But then there’s another crazy: Katie. She’s supposed to be the antithesis of Jodi: sweet, smart, SANE. Katie’s the girl Travis is truly interested in and respects, except for she’s just as terrifying as Jodi. The way she kept staring and smiling at him from across the room at his birthday party was creepy. She looked like a marionette. Plus, who takes a dude they like into the backyard so they can gift them a calendar featuring CATS?!?! Report it to the authorities because that’s a Code Red.
6. They played Evenascence’s ‘Bring Me To Life’ out of goddamn nowhere like goddamn champs.
It plays for almost a minute and a half. I didn’t even know Lifetime could afford such a hit. If you got it, flaunt it, I guess.
7. The murder scene will leave you breathless.
It is so graphic. Honestly. It’s gruesome and painful and just shocks you to the core. The fascination and sensationalism of the case fade away when you watch even just the re-enactment of the entirely inhumane and grotesque murder. Only a monster could do such a thing.
8. IT SERVES AS A SORT-OF ROADMAP TO THE REAL-LIFE EVENTS LEADING TO THE TRAIL.
I erroneously trusted the story as told by Lifetime was mostly true to life. Imagine my displeasure when I found, with a surface Google search, there were a million inconsistencies and made-up scenes. The story was detailed in the news on loop during the making of this film – so, whyyyyy, Lifetime?!?! WHY!!?!
In its defense, it is accurate enough for you to easily keep up with almost any conversation regarding the case.
But for those who want to know the discrepancies, here’s a few:
Real Jodi never lurked in Travis’ living room while he was on a date with the Crazy Eyed Cat Calendar Lady. As such, she never presented him with a collage of him with said date. I called bullshit on that immediately. Who creates a collage that quickly? Walgreens takes at least a couple of hours just to print the pictures up. Then it takes a while to cut and organize them. Get real. Also, Real Jodi did not waltz into a men’s bathroom and nonchalantly introduce herself to and hit on Travis while he peed. She’s psychotic but even she played hard to get the first couple of hours. Lastly, I’m fairly certain she never sent him pictures of her with another man.
Making up scenes is off-putting enough, but to not include some of the chilling behavior she actually exhibited is even stranger. Nowhere in the movie did we see Jodi crawl through Travis’ doggy door just to take a nap on his couch. But she sure did that in real life. Not once did they even mention that she showed up at a holiday party against his wishes, and was later found sleeping underneath the Christmas tree. Fucking hahaha’s to the max. On an even more disturbing note, the film did not show that Jodie called Travis hours after viciously murdering him and left him a voicemail chatting it up about upcoming plans as if she hadn’t just massacred him. And equally repulsive, she went on a date upon her immediate return from her murder extravaganza. With another Mormon guy. Who worked for the same company.
Also absent were all of the graphic sexts, phone sex recordings and arguments via text between the two, In these, you are exposed to a side of Travis that might tarnish his good guy image in the eyes of prudes everywhere.
9. AFTER THE WATCHING THE MOVIE, YOU WILL LIKELY DEVELOP YOUR SKILLS AS A DETECTIVE AND PSYCHIATRIST.
This case is a meaty meal for anyone who devours the study of mental illnesses and the behavioral patterns at play in tumultuous relationships. I and others I know lost hours upon hours of our lives dissecting, discussing and studying the case. There are videos of Jodi and Travis together, countless hours from court, her many interviews, those of friends and family, text and phone calls between them, and even pictures from the murder scene…of him…of the whole thing.
This case strikes up all sorts of conversations. Were they both victims of each others mental and emotional abuse? Did she snap? Was she bound to kill anyway or did he trigger something in her? Was he really as angelic as his friends say or is there truth to the darker side in him that degraded her? Why did he keep sleeping with her? Is she mentally ill or evil? Are men often victims of violence and abuse, but not seen as such? Did their childhoods play a subconscious role in their romantic decisions? The groundwork laid for a volatile relationship.
Overall, Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret left me confused, and not in a way I enjoy. The film’s journey began with a sensual lover’s photo shoot taken the morning of the murder, during which the word ‘porno’ is dropped, leaving me confident I was in for some LOLz. It immediately transitioned to Travis’ murder scene which was so gruesome it disturbed my entire soul. These rapidly contrasting feelings are what I experienced throughout the duration of the entire film. One minute, it was hilarious, the next I kept thinking ‘KILL THIS BITCH!’ Pick a lane, Lifetime. Either make a respectable film or give my platter of cheese.
10. You will see the bangs in action.
Jodi Arias is a full blown narcissist so this look must have been the most difficult part of the whole ordeal for her. I mean, her outrageous narcissism is basically what got her in this mess and what’s getting her through it. There are plenty of videos discussing it at length. She was a sex kitten and these horrific bangs were a clear attempt by her attorneys to paint her as the complete opposite in order to gain more sympathy. Unfortunately, all she looked like was guilty because only a woman capable of murder would rock those bangs.