So you drank to much this Christmas. Big surprise. You don’t have a drinking problem just cause you drank yourself stupid this season- you’re just bored. It’s like you went along with the anticipation and preparation of Christmas, with all of the shopping, wrapping, cooking, and now that Christmas finally arrived you had nothing else to do. Cause after the excitement of Christmas morning, there is nothing else to really do unless you want to stay in with your family and hear about how when they were your age they already had their first child and put down a deposit for a home. And who the hell wants to hear that?
Since your head is throbbing and you don’t want to think too much, we’ve made you a list of stupid films to watch on Netflix, or rather movies that aren’t too complicated for your fragile brain. Some on this list are pretty bad, they you won’t allow you to think even one intellectual thought. We’ve also added a couple of titles that are fun to watch and will make you want to ignore your stomach and go out again tonight.
We did this so you don’t have to absorb anything heavy and for those really bad titles, so you can stop whining. Cause if you feel like kicking yourself and thinking thoughts like “I’m irresponsible, and what am I doing with my life?” than watching some of these shitty films will make you feel better than the people involved with them. You’d much rather be you, than be the director of Haunted House 2, trust me.
You’ve been bombarded with Santas, elves and reindeers these past couple months, so why not familiarize yourself with leprechauns again? 1993’s Leprechaun staring Jennifer Aniston will have you in a daze of green lighting and horrible acting. You will be too exhausted to even contemplate how this horribly screenplay got the “okay” from movie producers, and be thankful this didn’t ruin Aniston’s career.
HAUNTED HOUSE 2 (2014)
One of the most unnecessary sequels to have ever been released in 2014, Haunted House 2 is so horrible, it will not only get zero laughs out of you, but zero anything. Any opinions or annoyances that would have been formed if you were sober will be nonexistent now that you’re watching this during a post-Christmas hangover. Seeing the Wayans brothers trying to make a Scary Movie reboot in Haunted House 2 won’t even piss you off, it will just make you feel nothing, which is what I wish could’ve done for me when I saw this.
GOOD BURGER (1997)
A surprise delight with no real depth, Good Burger was inspired by the Good Burger sketch from the 90’s Nickelodeon show All That! Though there aren’t many twists and turns in this well-intentioned film, it might provoke some sad thoughts like “Why can’t the 90s be back?” or “Kel?! Where are you?” But other than that, except some few good laughs about two guys working at a burger joint.
Enough said. If you seen this, or even heard of this, you know this is your go-to shitty film. Just enjoy the bad acting, directing, special effects….everything! I’m sure even the coffee being served on the set of this film was even horrible. It’s a tornado (or sharknado) of crap. And you will absorb this better hungover than you would at another state of mind. Sharknado is the godfather of modern shitty films.
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET(2013)
Nobody wants to be a wet blanket during the weekend. Yeah, you partied hard during the week, and more shenanigans during this weekend might result in bad choices or alcohol poisoning, but who cares? It is acceptable this time of year. So get inspired with the wolf of Wall Street, and let Leonardo Dicaprio show you how its done. He is having a good time almost every second of this film and it will make you want to replicate everything other than the times he is either arrested, doing hardcore drugs or being a douche to his first and second wife. Please, do not get arrested or punch someone this weekend, just have a good time and apologize to your stomach later.