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Inspired By ‘John Wick’, Here’s A Bunch of Dead Dogs

Normally, when I think of Keanu Reeves I think of how he should have acted in Equilibrium instead of The Matrix… but after seeing John Wick (don’t set him off) I think of AMAZING revenge flicks. If you haven’t seen John Wick yet, finish this article and then head right over to the theater! It’s probably the best role I’ve seen for Keanu in a long time, and that’s saying a lot because if you look at his recent history he’s only been doing these C-list whiteboy-Kung-Fu movies… The last part he had that I really liked was A Scanner Darkly in 2006. John Wick is jam packed with great performances, a great use of color that rivals Running Scared, great MMA fight choreography and most importantly (and oddly missing from a lot of movies today) GREAT DIALOGUE for the lead actor!

I’m not exaggerating when I say that he’s made up for the past 10 years with John Wick.

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John Wick is an instant classic film about an ex-hitman known as “The Boogeyman”,  or the man that scares the Boogeyman. When a snot-nosed son of Russian Mobster, Viggo Tarasov kills the dog that John’s dead wife gifted him… it (dare I say it) SPARKS a fire in him (I said it) and causes him to come out of retirement to seek revenge. All of which is revealed in the trailer, so I’m not spoiling anything for you. If you want to read more on the film, don’t. Just go see it!

I hope this next part doesn’t sound as awful as I expect it does, but this is the best dead dog movie in years. I did a trivia round on my podcast focused on Dead Dog Cinema, not only did it bum out everyone in the audience, it was hilariously fun to play. We only did it that one game and Netflix has way more great movies on there involving dead dogs, so why not bum out the entire internet for a little bit? Even though the website Does A Dog Die made it a lot easier for me.

Inspired by John Wick, here’s a bunch of dead dog movies on Netflix:

Old Yeller (1957)

The Citizen Kane of dead dog filmography. Old Yeller broke hearts and box office records back when it came out and is now available for you to tear up at in the comfort of your own Wonder Woman snuggie! I can’t tell you the dog death without ruining the film for you, so skip this unless you’re comfortable with a spoiler alert: Old Yeller catches rabies and has to be taken out back and shot! BOOM! No photo, just sadness.
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 Funny Games (1997)

This is hands down my favorite Michael Haneke film, it’s hard to explain what this movie is about because it’s more performance based. Two teens terrorize a family while at their vacation home, the drama starts when the home owners run out of eggs… see? Sounds stupid. But this movie takes all your expectations of film and plays with them for 2 hours. It’s incredible. One of the most unforgettable scenes is when our villains are making the family play “hot and cold” to find their dogs body.  It’s really weird how much I enjoyed the scene and it’s all because of Arno Frisch’s playful attitude.

 

The Snowtown Murders (2011)

I feel like this is the only time anyone will ever say “DUDE! You gotta watch this movie”… The movie starts with child pornography… so if all you remember is the dogs death,you’re getting off light. This is one of the most raw and rugged films involving some really hard-to-watch violence that is too real to handle at points. In this light-hearted teen comedy– I’m kidding. It’s heavy. Based on the real life murders that happened in Australia, the movie is about a serial killer who coerces a boy into murdering people who stand in his way.  One of the only scenes I had to pause was the dog’s death. He is trying to get the kid to show no fear and kill something he loves, but when he can’t do it the man GRABS the gun and kills the dog himself.

C.H.U.D. (1984)

C.H.U.D. is a cult classic that’s both fun and has a message, that message isn’t about dead dogs, it’s about society! Damn it! We’re alerted the the issue underneath the pavement from the opening credits when one of the monsters from below snatches an unsuspecting puppy for a midnight meal.

Turner & Hooch (1984)

Tom Hanks stars in this buddy cop movie made for the dog lover in all of us, Turner & Hooch shows that you don’t have to be a black guy to die in a movie in the 80s. It’s entertaining for all ages when Hanks is partnered up with this dog of massive proportions to solve an unsolvable case. Like Old Yeller, I don’t want to spoil anything for you, but if this movie being on this list doesn’t alert you that this dog doesn’t make it to the end credits… the dog dies. Hooch jumps in front of a bullet for his master and takes one right in the heart. Clearly dog is mans best friend… better friend than me, that’s for sure.

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Blue Valentine (2010)

Blue Valentine is a real look into what it’s like to be married… starting with (drum roll please) DEAD DOG! There’s flashbacks to when they were happy, but that’s counterbalanced with depressing looks into current times. Grab your tissues it’s about to go down.

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Amores Perros (2000)

My friend Brendan said that if I’m doing a list of dog death films, then Amores Perros has to be on it. Pitched it to me as “a film douche’s dream”, it involves 3 different plots intertwined, like Crash for dead dogs. All the stories are related by families and their dogs on the streets of Mexico City. It has by far the highest dog body count of any movie and is a perfect choice to end this list. I don’t want to spoil anything, so just imagine this for the runtime of the film.

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